Generation Me - Chapter 6

Jean Twenge has written a very interesting book studying today's youngest generation to have come of age. In these postings, I will begin to provide key quotes and references that have stood out to me. From that, I have posted a few questions for reflection. For more information on this book, I encourage you to explore her website: generationme.org

Also see my article: Me, MySpace and iPod: Tales of a Culture Stuck in the Mirror Phase of Development and Its Moral Implications

INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1:
YOU DON'T NEED THEIR APPROVAL: The Decline of Social Rules
CHAPTER 2:
AN ARMY OF ONE: Me
CHAPTER 3:
You Can Be Anything You Want to Be
CHAPTER 4:
The Age of Anxiety (and Depression, and Loneliness): Generation Stressed
CHAPTER 5:
Yeah, Right: The Belief That There's No Point in Trying

CHAPTER 6:
Sex: Generation Prude Meets Generation Crude

NOTABLE QUOTES

"Hooking up is increasingly common, and even sex within boyfriend-girlfriend relationships begins at younger and younger ages. Waiting for marriage is, to put it mildly, quaint. The vast majority of Generation Me does not wait until they are married to have sex. Most do not even wait to graduate from high school... Even religious teenagers with strict parents soon find themselves sexually active... Whether you see the new sexuality as freeing or wanton, the tie to individualism is obvious: do what feels good for you, and ignore the rules of society. On the other hand, the changes in sexual behavior are so dramatic that it's not clear that there are any universally agreed-upon rules about sex anymore" (p.160).

"In the late 1950s, only 30% of young people approved of sex before marriage; now 75% approve. The change in attitudes was even more striking among young women: only 12% approved of premarital sex in the 1950s compared with 80% now. Just as earlier generations found it somewhat shocking to hear about premarital sex, GenMe is shocked by the lack of it. Many ask how you'd know if you were sexually compatible with someone if you didn't have sex before you got married" (p.163).

"What about those abstinence pledges you hear so much about? They don't work. A whopping 88% of teens who take abstinence pledges have sexual intercourse before marriage. These teens do tend to wait about a year and a half longer to have sex, and had fewer partners. However, participants in abstinence programs were less likely to use condoms and thus more likely to acquire sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia or HIV" (p.164).

"Many Boomers are struck by how today's young people are so comfortable talking about sex. We know all the terms, and can say them with little embarrassment... Perhaps because GenMe has grown up in a time of more relaxed gender roles, many of us have talked about sexual topics with friends of the other sex" (p.165).

"Many other sexual behaviors are also now more common. Oral sex is now sometimes called 'the new third base.' Numerous newspaper stories have covered a supposed epidemic of oral sex among 12- and 13-year-olds in middle schools. Many kids say that oral sex is common by eighth or ninth grade" (p.165).

"The most striking shift in teenage and twentysomething sexual behavior in the last decade is the disconnect between sex and emotional involvement..." (p.167).

"Hooking up has been facilitated by technology like the Internet and cell phones. It's pretty simple - if you're a teenager, you can meet lots of people online, and then you ring them on their cells so you don't have to talk to their parents... The Internet helps too, with its myriad of hookup sites" (p.169).

Rebecca Collins: "The impact of television viewing is so large that even a moderate shift in the sexual content of adolescent TV watching could have a substantial effect on their sexual behavior" (p.171).

"A Kaiser Family Foundation study found that 70% of 15-to-17-year-old teens have seen Internet porn... And if that weren't enough, young girls who post to Internet message boards sometimes find themselves pursued by older men. It's no wonder that parents are concerned about these issues - sex just seems so much more available, and so much more dangerous, than it was when they were young. And they might be right" (p.173).

"Many people, especially the younger half of GenMe, have begun to use 'single' to mean 'not dating anyone'" (p.177).

"Today in the United States, more than 11 million unmarried people live together. The rate of living together increased 500% from 1970 to 1990, and another 72% between 1990 and 2000. Couples who wait to live together until after the wedding are now the minority, and this trend is likely to continue" (p.177).

"Marriage is also increasingly optional even with parenthood. In 2003, 34.6% of babies were born to unmarried women, the highest rate ever recorded. That's more than 1 out of 3. (Even though the teen birthrate is down, so many more unmarried women in their twenties and thirties are having children that this figure continues to rise.) If the United States follows trends in Europe, the number of children born outside of marriage may rise to half of all births" (p.178).

QUESTIONS TO PONDER
1. According to this chapter, Twenge suggests that there is an increased comfortability with conversation about sexuality among Generation Me. Along with this has emerged a redefinition of the moral boundaries defined by previous generations. With this increased openness, how does the church engage in dialogue on issues of sexuality?

2. On page 160, Twenge suggests that abstinence pledges have not been working as 88% of teens who take this pledge end up having sex before marriage. Are there alternative strategies that could be applied to help teens and twentysomethings cope with this tension?

3. Twenge comments that "The most striking shift in teenage and twentysomething sexual behavior in the last decade is the disconnect between sex and emotional involvement" (p.167). How does this trend contrast with C.S. Lewis' commentary on the subject where he states, "The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside of marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union." (Lewis, Mere Christianity, p.96)?

4. When most media conglomerates are going to cater to what will increase ratings and boost sales, how does one address the increase of sexual indescretion on the multiple media that today's youth interact with?

5. With marriage becoming devalued in the social spheres of today's youth (p.178), what are the social and psychological consequences of this decision?