a. Michel de Montaigne - Writings on EducationTemporary, Situational Problems
a. Possible Selves and Delinquency (Oyserman & Markus)
b. Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys
(more to follow)
Friday, April 28, 2006
Reclaiming Our Prodigal Sons and Daughters Chapter Five: Pathways to Trouble - The Making of a Delinquent
a. Michel de Montaigne - Writings on EducationTemporary, Situational Problems
a. Possible Selves and Delinquency (Oyserman & Markus)
b. Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys
(more to follow)
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4 comments:
let me just say, that with the title of the chapter i was a little apprehensive. "pathways to trouble: the making of a dlinquent." hmmmm.... what makes a delinquent. i'd often been called that growing up, but had never felt that the term applied to me.
quite a few of the factors cited i would personally corespond with being a brat. not necessarily a delinquent. the term in itself, seems to have an extremely negative tone. that would imply the child as being worthless or a problem or hindrance. let me just say, there are quite a few words and terms i don't like to use to label, and this is one of them.
going thru the pathways, i was a bit put off by that. i believe that all in their early childhood have experienced exactly what are put here as almost warning signs. i would argue so much as to say that these "delinquent" acts go on to middle childhood and some in pre adolescence, without necessarily escalating any farther. i must say, that i am a bit resistant to believe that any child that has a problem with telling the truth will one day steal a car. or an annoying kid will end up raping someone. i think these are phases that almost all kids go thru. it's the influential adults in their lives that must continue to help them grow thru those and learn and stay on the right path.
but i definately don't like the term delinquent. i don't know, maybe i'm just overanalyzing or something. wha'dya think?
~jenn
Chapter five of Reclaiming Our Prodigal Sons and Daughters was an okay chapter. It basically looked at the beginnings of troubled kids; some of the signs and examples that may shed light onto these our troubled youths.
He lists six behavioural issues that, if left unattended, can lead to a great deal of destruction in a child's life. They are
1. Deceit
2. Rebellion
3. Coercion
4. Thrill-seeking
5. Vengeance
6. Retreat
These are six of the "common pathways to serious trouble" in our youths today.
We have to remember as youth leaders not to just write off a kid that messes up by lying or stealing, there is still hope and a long road of learning ahead of that child. The author notes most of the kids that "experiment" with these issue early on don't continue with them, but actually "come to themself" like that prodigal son.
This chapter kinda of missed with my head because of the way it was set uo it was a bit of board ofr me. I did not really agree with the first half of the book, or really just the first part, because it had a comment that said kids with behavior problems is ussally a result from environmental factors, personal weakness, and harmful decision making. Thsi chapter moer htan hits close to home because as most of you know I was a Bad Kid and I was a druugie.
The part that got me anger was when he they said that it is due to personal weakness as this maybe true for some kids that know they are good and can control themselves what about the kid that was like me I was born with "on"ADHD that is a disease and you would never tell a person with Cancer they were weak.
And how kids will steal to get what they want but stop if they get caugth yes it is true for some but some just try and get better.
I know later on in the chapter it talks about kids being brats and they are doing because they want to get what they want and i agree to a point but it is not always true.
Okay, this is actually my second attempt to put a comment on here, let's see if it actually posts this time!
I was a little disheartened when I read the bit on the Pathway of Deceit and the Pathway of Rebellion. In my opinion, a lot of the characteristic "warning signs" seemed a little far-fetched until you get into the later years of development. So far that I have seen, every child lies, throws tantrums, tries to hide something they broke, question authority, etc. This is just part of growing up. I took a Childhood Development class back in college, and worked with kids of all ages for quite a few years. These "signs" are more characteristic of children learning their boundaries. They test how far they are able to go with authority, and continue at the furthest level they can without reprecussions. Now, I'm not saying that these things can't lead to later disruption. It is possible that their boundaries are never set for them, or are set way too late in development, in which case giving over control of that boundary they have been comfortable in for some time becomes a major problem for them, and they react, usually in a negative fashion. The book gave the example of the little kid whose parents always gave in rather than wanting to "make a scene." Sometimes, as adults we would rather keep the peace than to correct the behavior. I think this stems from the fact that correcting the behavior can sometimes take a long time, time that adults aren't always willing to commit to. If we're tired out from work, or if we've just plain had a bad day, it is much easier to let it go, or react in a negative way ourselves, thus making the "scene" worse than it could have been.
Now, I will agree with the rest of the pathways (coercion, thrill-seeking, vengeance, and retreat). Like Margaret, I found these very informative, and a nice, concise way of looking at the ways in which things can develop. That being said, this does not mean that a child cannot be lead on a more constructive path, with a little intervention from authority figures. I believe that at almost any of those stages, a child can be redirected, with guidance. As everyone else has said so far, that means relationships. We need to establish these in positive ways, in which we don't come across as the "Matilda-ish" example of adults/authority figures (for those who haven't seen the movie, or read the book, I'm referring to Matilda's father saying something like, "I'm big, you're little, I'm smart, you're dumb, and there's nothing you can do about it.") In this example, adults are usually seen as nasty, mean, and controlling (Miss Crunchbowl) and excessively strict, even cruel at times. This is not what we are meant to do. Rather, we are supposed to be more like Miss Honey, who nurtures the children, finds out what they are good at, and helps them to figure out more creatively, constructively handling what the world throws at them.
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